What I've Gained

If Simon Cowell were here, I have a feeling he would say that this post is "completely self-indulgent."  But I have some thoughts I want to share, and it's my blog after all, so here I go...I'm about half-way through with my Master of Counseling program.  Here's what has been sacrificed so far:  about $20,000 in tuition, parking, and books; countless hours spent attending classes, reading textbooks, writing papers, taking tests, and completing projects.  And, most difficult of all, I had to sacrifice some time with my kids in order to accomplish all that.  NOW, here's what I've gained so far...1) Knowledge.  A lot of knowledge.  I've learned a lot about ethics, data analysis, theories, psychological disorders, group therapy, career counseling, psychological tests, and the counseling process itself.  I have memorized (and somewhat forgotten) a lot of court cases that involved counselors, a lot of formulas for interpreting data, and a lot of details about specific psychological theories.  But I've also gained...2) Friends.  Good friends who I have opened up to about stuff I've never talked to anyone about before (besides Chuck).  Friends that I know I can trust, and friends that I have grown to love. Here's a picture of some good friends that I had a class with last semester.

I've also gained...3) Personal Growth.  It is impossible to go through a program like this without growing a lot as a person.  I feel like I started this program with a very vague idea of who I am. Now I am amazed at how much I have grown, and changed, and discovered about myself in the past year.   Now I know who I am.  4) Confidence.  It makes me sad to realize that after 12 years of being a full-time mom, I felt unimportant, not very smart, and not very interesting or worthwhile.  I wish it hadn't taken a master's program for me to realize that I am smart.  I am worthwhile.  I know being a mom is the most important, most worthwhile job there is, and I am so thankful that I have the blessing of being a mother.  I just wish that I could've felt more confident as a person when I was "just a mom".   And finally 5) I have gained a sense that I am doing what I need to be doing right now.  I know that I am on the right track.  It is difficult for me to be away from my kids when I have an evening class.  I sometimes feel like me being in school may be making their lives more challenging.  But I know without a doubt that I am doing the right thing for me and my family right now by being in school.  So I am thankful for the assurances I have felt through the spirit that this is my calling in life right now, and that my family will be blessed and watched over in my absence.  I don't know why I need to be in school right now while my kids are so young, but I do know that it is the right thing for me and my family, and that helps.  And it helps that I love what I am learning and doing.  I have a feeling that this next year (practicum and internship) will bring a lot more sacrifices, and a lot more gains.  I am up for it.  Bring it on.