Cozumel, Mexico

More Cruise Pix...At Cozumel, Chuck took the boys on a Jeep tour with Scott and Dina.  Cheyanna and I went shopping with my mom and Aunt Dee, then relaxed by the pool on the ship.  Here is Cheyanna posing by an alligator!

Cheyanna and Grandma

Our vist with Santa

Reflections about Counseling

I had to write a paper last week that included my reflections about what I had learned from the experience of counseling clients for the first time.  I thought I would share some of my thoughts looking back on the semester, so here is an except from that paper: |

     I remember being so excited to begin the counseling process.  I could not wait to be an agent of change in the lives of others.   Looking back, I would not categorize the experience of beginning to counsel clients as exciting.  I would say that the experience was incredibly overwhelming and anxiety-provoking.  I guess it is a good thing that I did not know how difficult the process of counseling would be.  In some ways, I see the process of becoming a counselor similar to the process of becoming a mother. 

            I always knew that I would be a good mother.  I was a great babysitter, and I loved babies, so I thought I knew what I was getting in to, and how I would handle motherhood.  But nothing prepares you for the feelings you have when your baby is placed in your arms.  No amount of warning or discussion can prepare you for the exhaustion and emotional instability that comes with having a newborn.  You cannot ever really be prepared for the unexpected illnesses, never-ending crying, lost freedom, and overwhelming responsibility that comes with motherhood.   And then, discovering that you are not the patient, wise, perfect mother that you always knew you’d be is a serious blow to your self-esteem and identity. 

            That is how I felt about my first experience with counseling.  I had confidence that I would be good at it.  I never questioned if I would enjoy it.  I had unrealistic expectations.   No amount of book learning or practice sessions could prepare me for what the actual experience of what counseling would be like.  Like motherhood, counseling others is something that you can never be fully prepared for.  It is a unique experience that must be experienced in order to understand what it is like...

     ...One important learning lesson for me this semester was that I need to stop worrying about my agenda, and let each client guide their sessions where they wanted to go.  There is a balance between of being totally structured and totally flexible.  When I came to each session prepared with possible interventions or topics of discussion, but then allowed the client to lead the direction of the session, I saw much more progress than when I came to each session with a structured road map of exactly what we would talk about and accomplish that hour.  My clients were ready to progress at their own pace, not mine.  Their lives and problems (and perspectives) were changing from week to week.  I needed to learn to give up some control to the client and to the process.

Blessings from the Stomach Flu

Cheyanna got the stomach flu on Thursday night.  She had a stomach ache, so when we tucked her in bed, we put a bowl next to her just in case.  Well, once she started getting sick, she jumped up and ran into our room, and very little of the mess made it into the bowl--it was all over the carpet leading from her room into our room.  Sorry for the visual, but I'm just trying to tell you that it was a mess.  We ended up with vomit in her bed, all over the carpet, and in our bed.  ANYWAY, as I was cleaning up the mess late at night, I felt so thankful that it happened just after I finished up my semester of school.  So I didn't have to worry about getting up and going to class, or having to miss class to stay home with Cheyanna.  And what a blessing it was that it didn't happen a few hours earlier.  Thurs was a super busy day for us, with Cheyanna's piano recital, Carson's violin concert, and Charlie's basketball practice (luckily Cade's baseball practice that night got canceled).  So the fact that we made it through the busy day before her sickness hit was ideal, really. And then I started thinking that we haven't had the stomach bug at our house in a long time--that's a blessing too.  And then I started thinking about how blessed we are that no one got sick on our cruise (besides my little bout of seasickness on one excursion!)  When we got home, Chuck got really sick with bronchitis, and he had to miss a couple of days of work.  But while we were on vacation, everyone was healthy, and we had no problems traveling.  All blessings.  Then yesterday was another busy day: one of my friends from school got baptized, Charlie played in a basketball tournament in Avondale, Cade had a baseball game, and then we had Chuck's work's Christmas party.  Late last night (early this morning), the stomach bug hit me too.  And again, I thought that the timing was a blessing.  We were able to get everything done that we needed to yesterday, and if I had to be sick, I couldn't have picked a better time.  I kind of feel that I have been running around non-stop since we got home from the cruise.  I've been trying to finish up all my school work, then trying to get out all my Christmas decorations, get the Christmas cards mailed out, get the house cleaned up, etc.  I've been thinking that I need a day off to rest and recharge, but there are too many things to do.  Being sick will force me to lay low and take it easy--which I think was just what I needed.  Thinking about being sick, I just realize how much the Lord is aware of our lives, and sometimes the timing of our trials (and the trials themselves) can be blessings.  I'm so thankful for a loving Father who loves me, and always knows what is best for me. 

Zip Lining in Honduras

 When we were in Roatan, Honduras, we went zip-lining in the beautiful countryside.  The kids all loved it!  Cheyanna went with one of the guides each time.  There were about 12 lines of varying speeds and lengths. 

 Charlie zip-lined like a pro. 

 Here's Carson, loving it!

 Cade is the least adventurous of our four kids, and you can tell by the look on his face in the picture that he wasn't totally loving the experience, but overall he said he liked it and he had fun. 

 Here's my nephew, Parker.  He's 9.  Charlie and Carson shared a cabin on the cruise with Parker and Logan.  Carson and Parker hung out together a lot on the ship. 

 Here's my niece, Rebecca, who is 12. 

 Here's my 14-year-old niece, Madeline. 

 Here's my nephew, Logan (7) with a little help from one of our guides. 

 Here's my brother-in-law, Scott, with his son, Eric, who is 4. 

 Here's my sister, Dina. 

 This is me.  I am such a scardy-cat.  I don't enjoy heights, I hate roller coasters, I get scared easily, etc.  So I didn't enjoy this adventure very much.  When I finished the last one, I just started crying with relief that it was over (and I survived).  At the time I was mad at myself for trying it when I knew I would hate it (and mad at Chuck and Dina for encouraging me to go).  But looking back, I'm glad I went.  It was an incredible experience--when am I ever going to get to go zip-lining in Honduras again?  Plus I faced my fear and I'm a survivor.  (:

Here's Chuck zip-lining.  I feel bad that my anxiety and distress probably put a bit of a damper on his enjoyment of the experience.  Overall, what a neat experience!  The scenery was so green and beautiful.  It was great to hear about the country and the people that live there from our guide. 

More cruise pix

 Here's our cruise ship--the Carnival Legend.

 Carson and Cade at the Captain's dinner.  My favorite part of the cruise was the great food!  I loved eating in the dining room every night.  They served all my favorite foods at some point in the week, and it was all super yummy!  Carson and Charlie ate off the adult menu, and got to try some fancy entrees.  Cade and Cheyanna mostly had pizza and cheeseburgers, but sometimes tried some adult appetizers or desserts. 

 Here we are getting on the ship!

Here are the boys on the Jeep tour of Cozumel.  They visited ruins and went snorkling.  I skipped out on that excursion after going on excursions at the previous three ports.  Cheyanna and I went shopping with my mom and Aunt Dee instead.  (:

Our Cruise

We had a great time on our cruise during the week of Thanksgiving!  We flew to FL, and left from Tampa with my mom and sister.  We stopped at Grand Cayman, Roatan (Honduras), Belize, and Cozumel.  I have lots of pictures to share, but only have time right now to add a few.  I'll upload more soon!  Here's a picture of Charlie on the balcony of our cabin, enjoying the view.    

 Here are Cade and Cheyanna on the balcony of our cabin. 

 Here are Chuck and Charlie on the small boat that took us to Sting Ray City on Grand Cayman.  That little boat was so choppy that I got really seasick, so the snorkeling and sting ray experience wasn't the best for me.  It was kind of scary to have sting rays swim right up to you, and swim past your legs.  But they were friendly enough, and they even let us pick them up and hold them and feed them.  Both times I tried to feed them, a fish swooped in out of nowhere and stole the stingray food.  The second time the fish bit my finger! 

 This is before I got seasick, while I was still able to smile.  (:

Here's Cheyanna on the beach at Grand Cayman.
I know these pictures aren't much, but it's a start.  More to come!

Becoming a Counselor

I have been meaning to post an update on the process of me counseling others.  The first few weeks of counseling were really, really stressful and anxiety-provoking for me.  I felt overwhelmed, under-prepared, and like I was in over my head!  Every Sunday night, I had trouble sleeping, and would have horrible nightmares.  Every Monday (when I see clients), I felt sick to my stomach all day long, and couldn't eat because I felt so stressed. It was really difficult, and a part of me doubted that I was really ever going to be able to do this (and like it).  Then I got a really difficult, very stressful, hard to handle client, and suddenly I realized that counseling CAN be scary and stressful when you have a client who is not mentally stable--but it doesn't have to be scary or stressful otherwise.  I only ended up seeing the client once because she was needing help beyond what our center could offer.  But it was an important turning point for me.  Around that time, I finally started feeling relief from all the anxiety I was experiencing, and then I was able to start enjoying the process.  Now I have six clients (seven actually because one of my clients is a couple), and I actually am starting to look forward to Mondays.  It is a really long day, and I don't get home until 9pm, so I hardly get to see my kids on Mondays, but it is starting to feel rewarding.  I feel like I have made important connections with my first three clients (who I have been seeing for weeks now--the other three are fairly new).  I have seen some positive changes in their lives, and it is so amazing and wonderful to feel like I am making a difference in these people's lives.  I definitely feel now more than ever that EVERYONE out there has their struggles, and everyone needs someone to love them and listen to them and care about them.   It makes me want to be a little kinder to everyone, a little more patient and a little less judgmental.  I also count my blessings every day.  Because hearing about others' trials makes me so grateful for my own.  Life is good.  I don't know why I have to make such an effort to remind myself to be happy, but I do.  So every day, I want to choose to appreciate the goodness of life and enjoy every moment.  The every-day stuff is the good life.  Helping kids with homework, eating dinner together, laughing and playing games together.  It's all those moments that can make us happy if we let them. (:

Carson's 11-year-old pix...Finally!

 After a series of delays, we FINALLY had Carson's pix taken for his birthday (which was two months ago)!  Jill Lauren Photography did a great job!

 Words can't even begin to express how much I love, love, love this kid!  Carson brings so much happiness to our family just by being who he is.  Super smart, musically talented, artistic, creative, and kind-hearted are all words that come to mind when I think of Carson.  He has a good sense of humor, and he genuinely tries to make everyone around him happy. 

Halloween 2010

 Cheyanna was Pinky Pie for Halloween (a My Little Pony). 

 Cade was Luigi (from Super Mario Bros.)

 Carson was Barak Obama. 

 We went to Noah Webster's Fright Fest last weekend, and we went to our ward's trunk-or-treat last night. 

Jennie's 60th

Chuck's Mom just celebrated her 60th Birthday!  She is such an incredible person, and I feel so blessed to have her in my life.  Jennie has always been so kind to me and accepting of me.  She has always been there for our family, and has been a huge source of help and support to me during times of stress and trials. She is the best Granny to our kids, and they are crazy about her.  And of course, I give Jennie a lot of credit for raising Chuck and helping him to turn into the great man that he is.  Above is a picture of Jennie with baby Chuck, and below is Jennie with Chuck and his sister, Megan.

For Jennie's 60th Birthday, Chuck's sister Megan planned a big surprise party in Tucson (where Jennie lives).  Meg put so much time and effort into planning this party, and fortunately, we pulled it off and the party went exactly like we hoped it would!  Our family went down to Jennie's on Saturday, and told her we were taking her out to dinner for her birthday.  We asked where she'd like to go, and Jennie actually mentioned the restaurant where the party was being held!  It was almost too easy.  I went ahead with the kids to give everyone a heads-up that the birthday girl was about to arrive.    

Surprise!  Here's her initial reaction.  To our great relief, she was very surprised and hadn't suspected a thing.  :)

  

So much love!! Below is the table with most of Jennie's grandkids.  We all got to enjoy some yummy Mexican food at Casa Del Rio, then there was a slide show that Megan and Joe put together.  Jennie's sister, Dawna, flew in from Washington for the surprise, and Chuck's sister, Lindsey, flew in from Colorado.  Dawna also put together a memory book, and had all of Jennie's friends and relatives submit a letter, picture, or story to include in the book.  It turned out so great, and was really fun to look through.

Megan made some really cute centerpieces for the tables.  Jennie had a lot of candles to blow out!  Chuck was the MC for the party, and he did a great job making announcements and keeping the party going. 

Ashely and Cheyanna

Grace and Cade

I have heels on in this picture.  Notice how much taller Charlie is than me now.  Crazy, huh?

I love this cute picture of Chuck with his mom.  Jennie was so appreciative of the party and all the effort that went into it (mostly Megan's).  We all had a really great time celebrating what a special person she is.  I'm glad she got a chance to see and know how many people love and care about her.  Happy Birthday, Jennie!