Reflections about Counseling

I had to write a paper last week that included my reflections about what I had learned from the experience of counseling clients for the first time.  I thought I would share some of my thoughts looking back on the semester, so here is an except from that paper: |

     I remember being so excited to begin the counseling process.  I could not wait to be an agent of change in the lives of others.   Looking back, I would not categorize the experience of beginning to counsel clients as exciting.  I would say that the experience was incredibly overwhelming and anxiety-provoking.  I guess it is a good thing that I did not know how difficult the process of counseling would be.  In some ways, I see the process of becoming a counselor similar to the process of becoming a mother. 

            I always knew that I would be a good mother.  I was a great babysitter, and I loved babies, so I thought I knew what I was getting in to, and how I would handle motherhood.  But nothing prepares you for the feelings you have when your baby is placed in your arms.  No amount of warning or discussion can prepare you for the exhaustion and emotional instability that comes with having a newborn.  You cannot ever really be prepared for the unexpected illnesses, never-ending crying, lost freedom, and overwhelming responsibility that comes with motherhood.   And then, discovering that you are not the patient, wise, perfect mother that you always knew you’d be is a serious blow to your self-esteem and identity. 

            That is how I felt about my first experience with counseling.  I had confidence that I would be good at it.  I never questioned if I would enjoy it.  I had unrealistic expectations.   No amount of book learning or practice sessions could prepare me for what the actual experience of what counseling would be like.  Like motherhood, counseling others is something that you can never be fully prepared for.  It is a unique experience that must be experienced in order to understand what it is like...

     ...One important learning lesson for me this semester was that I need to stop worrying about my agenda, and let each client guide their sessions where they wanted to go.  There is a balance between of being totally structured and totally flexible.  When I came to each session prepared with possible interventions or topics of discussion, but then allowed the client to lead the direction of the session, I saw much more progress than when I came to each session with a structured road map of exactly what we would talk about and accomplish that hour.  My clients were ready to progress at their own pace, not mine.  Their lives and problems (and perspectives) were changing from week to week.  I needed to learn to give up some control to the client and to the process.