Going to Counseling

So I haven't ever blogged an update about my experience going to counseling.  I love going to counseling.  I feel like it helps me so much to see my life and my problems from a different perspective, and it is a reminder that I am in control of my life, my feelings, etc.  I believe that wholeheartedly, but sometimes I forget to apply it to my life.   My counselor was great at reminding me that I am in control! 

My last session, I told her I was really stressed about a certain situation.  She asked what about it is stressing me out.  What?  I don't know.  I never take the time to sit and think about WHY this situation stresses me out.  Thinking about it, and articulating my feelings were both really helpful.  Then she asked what I can do to make the situation less stressful.  Again, what?  There's nothing I can do about it...it is just a stressful situation.  I asked her what I could do, and she told me that I had to be the one to come up with the solution.  So I thought about it for a minute, and then realized **light bulb** that I can change me.  I can change my attitude about the situation.  I can change how I handle the situation.  There is a lot about how I think about and react to the situation that I can control.  It was great to step out of the "victim" role, and into the "actively making my life better" role.  Once again, I left the session feeling empowered, enlightened, and happy.  It's just one example of how counseling helps me.  I know (probably better than most people) that I am the only one who can determine my thoughts and my mood.  And I feel like I have figured out how to help other people who come to me for help to recognize this.  But when it comes to applying it to my life--I'm no expert.  I need to be reminded sometimes. 

I did just want to say that I think who your counselor is (and how you feel about them) is probably the most important factor in how much counseling will help you.  Research has proven this!  There are a lot of different theoretical orientations and techniques that different counselors use.  In trying to determine which is best, a lot of research has been done on the subject, and the one factor that is consistently the most important factor in the effectiveness of counseling is the rapport between the counselor and client.  So if you go a counselor, and don't feel like you really clicked, go to a different counselor.  I know it's a hassle when you have to get approval from insurance, and find one close by who is accepting new patients, and whose schedule matches yours.  But it is worth the effort.  You need to feel comfortable with your counselor.  You need to feel like they "get" you.  You need to trust them, and feel safe talking to them.  If you don't, keep on looking until you find someone that you do feel comfortable with. 

After my session last week with my counselor, I didn't schedule another appointment.  I feel like my anxiety has improved a lot, and I have a better perspective on a lot of things that were bothering me.  I feel better about myself as a mother, and I feel less guilty about my shortcomings as a mother and as a person.  I guess I just feel like I have a healthier perspective now.  Also, probably the main reason why I feel "done" is because my insurance will only cover so many visits a year, so I don't feel like I can keep going indefinitely even though I would like to.  So I can return to my counselor as needed--and that is like a safety blanket.  But for now, I'm on my own.  Going to counseling was a great experience for me, and I would highly recommend it to everyone!